


zusammen

by TheGlassesPredicament



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Canon Compliant, Jonas is a Good Friend, all the boys care about matteo, at least up until episode 6, based on the first two clips of episode 6, it's a bit of a WIP, kind of a mess, matteo needs a fucking hug, not sure what else to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-14 22:30:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18485725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGlassesPredicament/pseuds/TheGlassesPredicament
Summary: To say that Jonas is frustrated would be the understatement of the year. He was angry, confused, and annoyed, but he was also incredibly worried.After Matteo yells at the boy squad, Jonas decides to go back and be there for his friend.





	1. Chapter 1

To say that Jonas was frustrated would be the understatement of the year. He was angry, confused, and annoyed, but he was also incredibly worried. After getting radio silence over the weekend, combined with Sara’s not-so-sweet posts and Matteo not showing up for exams, Jonas decided to take things into his own hands. Well, the group’s hands, more accurately. The instant he’d brought up talking to Matteo, both Carlos and Abdi quickly agreed.

 

It had been going okay, at first, conversation drifting from one vague topic to the next, the boys dancing around the elephant in the room as best they could.

 

But the bubble eventually burst, and it did so loudly and violently. Jonas could still hear Matteo’s shouts echoing in his ears, the look of pain in his eyes burning the back of Jonas’ brain. After their hasty exit, Carlos led the trio on a brisque walk down to a nearby park, stopping in front of a bench and collapsing back onto it. The other two followed suit, both equally exhausted from what had just happened.

 

“What the fuck has gotten into him?” Abdi said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I mean, he’s acting totally fucking mental. I don’t get it.” Carlos leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and hanging his head. “I’m not sure. I thought it was just about Sara, but…” He trailed off, at a loss for what to think.

 

Jonas looked between his two friends, then back toward the direction of Matteo’s apartment. His heart ached at the thought that Matteo wouldn’t go to him, wouldn’t tell him what was going on. He cleared his throat, turning to the boys, and said, “I’m gonna go back.” At the other two’s looks of confusion Jonas simply raised a hand to quiet them. “Look, I know he’s being an asshole right now, but… I know something’s going on. And I think it might be good if I go-- _alone_ , for your sakes and his.” Jonas glanced between his two friends, both with wary, unsure expressions.

 

“Hey, whatever he throws at me, I’ll be fine. Seriously,” he continued, sending an assuring smile their way. Abdi nodded. “Okay man, but if he starts acting too dickish, you leave. There’s a line, okay?” Jonas nodded; it was rare that they were this open about how they each felt, and comforting. For a second he wished they could be like this more often, actually be honest and raw and emotional, but he knew this moment would have to end at some point or another.

 

He let himself take it in for one last breath before pushing himself up off the bench and turning to face them. “If I don’t make it out, tell my mom I love her,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood. It only half worked, Abdi sighing softly and Carlos rolling his eyes.

 

“Yeah, whatever. We still on to study tomorrow?” Carlos asked, eyes meeting Jonas’. He nodded again, moving to head off, suddenly more somber than before.

 

He walked slower this time, using the stroll back to collect his thoughts. _What was he going to say to Matteo, exactly?_ _Did he even have a plan?_ He shook his head in an effort to dispell the negative thoughts from his mind. Of course he’d know what to say, this was Matteo for fucks’ sake. His best friend. Or at least, he used to be. Now, Jonas wasn’t so sure; now that he really paid attention to it, he realized him and Matteo hadn’t had a real conversation in weeks, months even. All they did was get high and slack off; in fact, Jonas couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen the boy sober. Ever since the drama between him and Hanna, Jonas had been getting progressively worse off, and in his spiral, he hadn’t noticed that Matteo was doing the same.

 

He reached the front of the building and hit the buzzer. After a few seconds the door unlocked and he made his way inside and up the stairs. When he knocked on the door to Matteo’s apartment, he was greeted not by the Italian but by Mia. “Are you here for Matteo?” She asked, seemingly oblivious to the earlier events. She moved to the side of the hallway to let him in, and Jonas trudged inside, out of nowhere feeling conflicted. _No_ , he told himself, _you’ve already come all the way back here, you have to do this_.

 

“Do you want something to drink? Tea, maybe?” Mia asked. She looked a little tired, but for the most part good. He shook his head, taking off his coat and shoes carefully, watching as dirt from his soles transferred to the welcome mat under him. He didn’t feel like socializing with Mia, as nice as she was.

 

He brushed past her, only calling back a quick, “Thanks anyway,” from the living room when his manners caught up to him. As he got to Matteo’s door, he froze. All of his anxieties, about his friend’s state and his shitty job at being there for him and his fear that he wouldn’t be able to help him, bubbled to the surface. It hit him like a load of bricks.

 

_I wasn’t there for him, I wasn’t there for him, I wasn’t--_

 

He took a deep breath, and opened the door.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonas and Matteo do some talking. And some crying. Mostly crying.

Jonas pushed the door open, slowly revealing the state of Matteo’s room. In the time between his first visit and now, the place had been completely wrecked. There were papers strewn across the floor and the beanbags had gotten kicked around, as well as Matteo’s desk, which now sat at a different angle than before. Jonas could see Sara’s Instagram from earlier on his friend’s laptop.

 

Speaking of his friend, Matteo was lying in his bed flat on his stomach, head tilted to the side, where he hovered a dying blunt between his face and a makeshift ashtray.

 

“Luigi?” Jonas called lightly. He was afraid that anything too sudden would cause Matteo to recede even further in on himself. “Can I sit down?”

 

Matteo let out a small grunt but gave no physical response. Jonas took this as a yes, and delicately sat down near the corner of the mattress. After a long pause where neither one spoke, he decided to come closer to Matteo, laying down next to the boy in a similar position, body merely inches apart from his friend. Matteo was facing away from him, so Jonas elected to stare at the nape of his neck as he sank into the bed.

 

He sighed, the words he yearned to speak feeling heavy in his throat. “I… I’ve been a shit friend,” he finally got out, “and you don’t deserve that. I’m sorry, bro.” Matteo made no indication that he had heard Jonas, the blunt having been discarded in place of laying motionless, contemplating how to react to his friend’s reappearance.

 

“I just- You don’t tell me anything anymore. We don’t talk, I hate it. I feel like I have no clue who you are.” He paused, taking a deep breath. He was supposed to be supporting Matteo, he reminded himself, not picking an argument. “You don’t have to talk about it, okay? But I’m here when you- if you want to. Don’t fucking forget that, okay, you’re my best friend.”

 

Sometime during his rant, Jonas had closed his eyes, so he didn’t see so much as hear and feel the other boy shift his position, laying on his side so he was facing Jonas, his nose almost brushing the older boy’s shoulder. Jonas simply continued to lay there, waiting for Matteo to move first.

 

Eventually, he did, the Italian burrowing himself into Jonas’ chest, resting his head on the boy’s shoulder, curling his arms inward and bringing his knees up to meet his chest, keeping himself pressed against Jonas’ side. Jonas reacted immediately, wrapping his arms around Matteo’s shoulders and pulling him close, resting his chin just above the other’s head. He evened out his breath, hoping Matteo would follow suit.

 

Matteo began to silently sob, each inhale shuddering through his torso and back out. The tears flowed out in a steady stream, trailing down Matteo’s face and neck onto his and Jonas’ sweatshirts.

 

They stayed there for an eternity, twice over. Neither wanted to move even an inch, for fear of the other withdrawing. Jonas couldn’t help feel a pang of relief having Matteo there, knowing it would be okay in the end.

 

It was Matteo who eventually broke the lull. “If I were... “ He trailed off, swallowing hard. “If I told you something, no matter what it was, would you stay?” His voice was bathed in uncertainty and fear. He pressed his eyelids together, focusing on the steady sound of air passing through his lungs. He suppressed the urge to reach for his blunt, for anything that could distract him from his current reality.

 

Jonas blinked once, twice, mulling the question and its implications over. He knew it was serious, important, but he couldn’t help cracking a joke. “I mean, you know I’m not a fan of murder, but I’ll help hide the body if you need me too.”

 

Matteo unwound one of his arms and gave Jonas a light smack, a smirk visible for a half second before he remembered what he was talking about. Jonas counted it as a win.

 

“Be serious--if I told you this, it… Everything would be different. You’ll leave me too.” He pauses, voice getting quieter. “My dad left me, my mom, David… Promise you won’t go, no matter what. I don’t care if you hate me.”

 

Jonas squeezed Matteo tighter, then pulled his arms back and used them to push himself into a seated position, dragging Matteo up with him. They both scooted back slightly to lean against the wall, and Jonas noticed that as they did Matteo pushed himself a little farther away from him. He waited for the other boy to finish adjusting his spot, then made sure Matteo was looking at him when he answered.

 

“Listen, whatever it is, I won’t leave. But you’re worrying me, Luigi. Really, I promise I won’t go,” he said, trying to convey his sincerity through his words and his gaze.

 

Matteo shifted again, eyes suddenly darting around the room as if looking for a way out of this discussion. Finding none, he sank down a bit in time to his exhale. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t muster up the words. He swallowed.

 

“I’m gay.” It came out as a whisper, a confession so terrifying to Matteo he could barely breathe it into life. “That… was the first time I’ve said that. Ever. Fuck…” Jonas saw more tears forming in Matteo’s eyes.

 

Jonas let the information ruminate in his mind, meanwhile reacting outwardly by pulling Matteo in for another bone-crushing hug.  _ How did he miss this? _ He thought. Then:  _ This makes sense. The distancing, the way he hated talking about girls, Sara _ . It all came together in his head, and it fully registered to him:  _ Matteo is gay _ .

 

Matteo spoke up again, this time with more life in his voice. “So you’re, it’s--we’re okay?”

 

Jonas gave him a confused look. “Okay? Of course we are. Matteo, I am so okay, what matters is that you are. Fuck, I’m really sorry I didn’t know, none of us did, this whole time and we’ve just been-- pushing girls on you when--” Jonas stopped himself. Matteo had yet another trail of tears down his cheeks, but this time they were accompanied by a smile, big and genuine.

 

“I was so scared. I thought it would change our friendship, you know?” Matteo said. He looked lighter, as if the weight of his secret had been pushing down on him and he was finally freed. “That if you knew, about--about all of it, that you’d leave.”

 

“That’s not true, bro. Never was, never will be. How could this change anything? It’s no different than anything about me or Abdi or Carlos.” Jonas shook his head, an affectionate grin on his face.

 

Matteo just shook his head. “For a while, it was because, well… I had liked you. But I don’t! Not anymore, but still… I didn’t want you looking at me differently, pitying me.”

 

Jonas paused at that. All that time,  _ Matteo had liked him? _ He thought back to his relationship with Hanna, how awkward and uncomfortable Matteo had seemed by it. Jonas had brushed it off as him dealing with his family situation at home, or him possibly having liked Hanna… But him? It had never crossed his mind before.

 

“Jonas?” Matteo asked, voice becoming quiet again.  _ Shit _ , Jonas thought.

 

“I--It’s a lot to take in, I can’t lie, but it’s okay. We’re still okay.” He assured, and he meant it, Jonas realized. No matter what, they’d still be there for one another. It was going to be okay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again! Thanks so much for all the positive feedback, I really appreciated hearing from y'all.  
> I'm thinking I may do one/two more chapters of this, not sure yet.   
> I hope y'all enjoyed this update!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! So I don't write a lot of fics, so any feedback you have would be really sweet!
> 
> Also, let me know if you'd like to see more of this? It's a bit of a WIP, but I'd like to continue it if you all'd be interested. Thanks!


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